Work. We all do it right? Something I learned early on in my adult life
was the flow chart of work = money and money is necessary to have a place to
live, things to eat, heat in the winter, whiskey in my glass, and water to wash
my face (and other places, maybe not my mouth, but whatevs). So therefore I work. Oddly enough for someone that tests gravity
on a daily basis with anything I have on hand, (i.e. silverware, plates,
glasses, wine glasses, sugar caddies, myself……..) I became a server.
I
understand fully the stigma that goes along with my career choice (notice the
word ‘career’ I have almost 19 years of serving under my belt and have worked
in my current location for close to eight years, this is not a ‘job’ at this
point). I’ve been asked if I’m just
doing this while in school, if this is a second job, I’ve heard people refer to
servers as a bunch of drug addicts and drunks, that we’re in it for the easy
money, that this is the best we can do, and maybe most offensive is the
question of when I’ll get a ‘real’ job (like this one is just a hobby that pays
in meatballs (double parenthesis for the Wedding Singer reference. You’re welcome)). Answers in order are, no, no, I like booze
but pass on grass, nothing about this job is easy, I get paid more than a first
year teacher, and this ‘real’ job has paid my bills and helped raise my son. I assure you my checks and cash spend just as
well as everyone else’s. There are
plenty of jobs I am not qualified for and there are plenty of people who wouldn’t
be able to do mine, so let’s just call it a draw.
The thing that no one bothers to
ask is if I like my job. The answer to
this is also ‘no’. I love my job. I love the pace and challenge. I love the personalities of the other people
I work with. I love the patrons and
their individual needs, it’s like a big puzzle and I have to put all the pieces
together in time for one to go back to work, and one to make a show, one that
can’t have gluten and her friend that doesn’t eat dairy, one that drinks
beverages like what in my mind a camel looks like after a long trek through the
Sahara, and I have to do it all while smiling.
Sure there are times when I’m burned out, find me someone who doesn’t
have those days in any career, but
mine are few and far between. In fact I
am so blessed to be a part of some of people’s best moments. People go out to nice restaurants to
celebrate, to enjoy each other, to escape from normal, to not do dishes, to get
engaged, to talk to each other, sometimes they make out and I must admit, I
dislike that, but I am privileged to be a part of almost all of these
things (not the making out part, while I enjoy that in the privacy of my own home, in public and at work is just not the way I roll). Sometimes it takes less than
five seconds to make someone feel special by putting a candle in their dessert,
personalizing their tomato bisque, or shaking a gentleman’s hand and thanking
them for dining. ‘So why not do it?’ Has always been my philosophy. Every day I get to make people feel
special. That’s kind of incredible.
Now with all that waxing about how
smitten I am with my job I have to say that those are the very reasons that
when I came across this blog last night I was furious. Spitting mad.
So mad in fact that I sat myself down to write a very concise message
about how angry I was (yes Meg you are right.
It’s exactly what I do when I’m mad.)
Now don’t get me wrong I mumble under my breath sometimes and get
frustrated at guests, which most time is a miscommunication more than a mistake
on either of our parts, but this blog about water was downright offensive to me
as a server and as a guest. Wasting anything is never on my list of things that are okay, but how dare
anyone make a guest feel bad about ordering something that is available at every restaurant?! Now when people get all crazy with it
ordering a lukewarm water with three ice cubes on the side, two lemons, two
cherries, one lime and four cucumbers I think any normal person would look at
them and think, “Seriously?! Are you trying to get points for creativity? Like you woke up the Salvador Dali of H2O?” but to
say that a server hates you for ordering water is complete and utter
bullshit. That blog made it sound like
the people in my profession are in it to see how high they can get your check
just so twenty percent is higher. Like
the twenty percent on $2.75 is what is going to put them over the edge to keep
the heat on in their home. What a D
bag. Totally false at least on my
end. I would love to get you water. I’ll
also do my best to fill it as often as possible. When I go out I will order water myself and
not feel bad one bit.
While we’re bustin server myths
here I’d also like to state that if you don’t like your food, it’s wrong, or
cooked incorrectly please tell me so I can fix it. I hate when people tell me they don’t want to
complain or that they didn’t want to send it back to be a bother. That’s dumb.
The point of restaurant dining is to have a great meal that you don’t
have to cook. Why would I want you to
eat something wrong? Sometimes it’s my
fault, sometimes it’s the kitchen, sometimes the guest didn’t read the menu,
but no matter who owns the title to the fuck up the result should be the same,
a delicious meal. As I tell my son all
the time, your mistake is not what is important we all make mistakes, it’s your
solutions that will make you a success.
Now I should also say that like in
all professions there are poor servers too, ones that worry more about the
money than that of doing a good job. Which if a job you do good money will come. (Yoda and that voice from Field of Dreams teamed up for that one.) Although
I’m certain that these people exist in all jobs. Ones that are unhappy with themselves in some
fashion and instead of being proactive and finding happiness they allow their
own negativity leach into all they do.
So just know that when you have a bad server and you leave them a bad
tip to teach them a lesson, they are most likely that person at your job that
shows up late for the meeting about chronic lateness. These are the people who think that the rules
apply to everyone but them and carry a cross of ‘victim’ with them everywhere
you go. Instead of feeling angry, feel
sad and when you return to that restaurant request someone else. Those are the few, not the majority. On the flip side if you have a great server,
sometimes it takes only a kind message on your receipt or an extra $3 to $5 to make
someone’s day. A little kindness goes a
long way.
Serving is a job that you get out
of it what you put into it. Every day I
go in with a smile on my face excited to see what the afternoon will
bring. Will regulars come in for a
little chat? Will I make a new frequent
flyer out of a first timer? I work hard
for my guests and my coworkers alike. I
am always looking for a way to improve the day for all. If you want to drink four waters and seven
iced teas I’ll do my best to accommodate, although I do request that as I
extend courtesy please do the same to me.
Don’t take your bad day out on me with unrealistic expectations and I
will try to fill your drinks and split your friend’s meal five ways while
cashing out twenty two separate checks on a party that all need change for a
twenty. Respect, pass it along. Never let a bitchy waiter cloud your opinion
of those of us that do our jobs because we love people……. and water.
